Yes, we have some #AdviceForYoungJournalists
It’s been a glorious week for journalism, hasn’t it? Those fearless warriors for truth and justice, standing up for the weak, giving voice to the voiceless. I think we can all agree it doesn’t matter which mosque you left, or which helicopter you weren’t in, the main thing for journalists is to get ahead with their careers. In that spirit, here is our contribution to the ongoing #AdviceForYoungJournalists hashtag that got going on Twitter. Speak truth to power? You must be joking.
If you're in USA, home of freedom, don't write anything critical of Israel or your cowardly bosses will fire you. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Make shit up that plays to white people's fears. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Never publish info that make the US government look bad. Write an op-ed denouncing those that do as traitors. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Never question or attempt to independently verify anything the police say. They never lie to reporters. Ever. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Write about Africans as if they're not real people. Never interview an African. Always use a "bridge character." #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Never read or cite a book that wasn't written by a white man. Especially if writing on Africa or the Middle East. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
To become a successful editor, never commission black writers. Especially black women. That white guy can do it. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
If making a documentary or extended report in, say, Uganda, only interview white people. That's very important. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Ride in the second helicopter, but remember being in the one in front. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
If you have a NYT column, never — upon ANY account — do any research. Just reheat what you wrote last week. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
If asked to write obituaries, part of your job is to deride the lives and achievements of dead black scholars. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Go to the mall. Order some mac & cheese. Observe the Macedonian waiter. Your Pulitzer will be along any second. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Report on US wars so that the killing of brown people appears somewhat sad but totally inevitable. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Report on Israel's massacres so that the killing of Palestinians appears somewhat sad but totally inevitable. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
US military bloodshed must be reported ONLY in the passive voice. Thanks to @AndyBarenberg for the reminder #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
The best political stories are the ones that show you got to talk to, or just stand near, a famous politician. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Ask the nice man from the Israeli Defence Force for advice on what to call the things you see before you. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
US politics are best reported on like a horse-race. Ignore the details of why people are screwed either way. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
If in doubt, the topic of your next op-ed should be: Why Iran is the real threat. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
If reviewing, say, Jamaica Kincaid's novel, deride everything except the "encantatory" quality of her prose. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Write a story about white men saving brown women from brown men. Repeat. Your Pulitzer will be along shortly. #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— AFRICA IS A COUNTRY (@AfricasaCountry) February 10, 2015
Image at the top is from Humor Times.
